Watermelon Woman


Who are you?
March 1, 2010, Monday,9:49 pm
Filed under: Gardening, ovarian cancer, weather | Tags: , , , ,

Walking around the lake two Saturdays ago, I saw my sister coming from the other direction. I stopped to wait for her and smiled at her. My sister did not recognize me! To her credit, she had not seen me since I stopped wearing my blond wig to hide my head while my hair grew out. Before chemo, I had long blond, straight hair. I now have short, brown and curly hair. Quite a change for me too!

We met for lunch later in the week, again my sister did not realize that it was me until I got really close to the car. LOL. My other sister said she would have recognized me (sure, sure). Guess I don’t look like me anymore, but I’m glad I have hair again.

The anniversary of my surgery is coming up soon. As an almost one year survivor, I don’t feel safe. While I go through my days mostly not thinking about cancer, I also realize that I have this overwhelming feeling that there is more to come. People tell me all the time that I am strong and have a good outlook on my situation. I think I’m a fake, pretending that everything is okay when I am really scared to death. This is probably “normal” reaction but I need to be more confident that I will be  one of the good statistics. Maybe pretending to be optimistic will turn into a true feeling.

Weeds have taken over the backyard and with more rain coming, it may be April before I can get out there and set things right. Something to look forward to…

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