Watermelon Woman

February 21, 2014, Friday,10:09 pm
Filed under: Misc.

Time is slowly going toward my 5-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis in April 2009. I am happy that I’ve survived this long with Stage 3b ovarian cancer. So, why am I so very reluctant to have my latest blood test? Am I worried about a relapse when all my tests have been great so far? In a word, yes. I’m fighting depression, anxiety etc. etc. I will have the test and deal with whatever comes, but for now, it is hard.

Work has also been difficult as well. I’m feeling ostracized by upper management and insulted by some decision regarding my work. I’ve even started taking my personal items home in anticipation of leaving sooner than expected.

Family life, thankfully, is good. Great spouse, grown kids and grandson. I couldn’t ask for better and it allows me to keep a space between work, cancer and the homelike.  I had to buy a inexpensive sewing machine this week to replace the one that has stopped working and an even older one that also has bit the dust. I just need basic stitches so I decided not to buy a digital model. I haven’t yet got it out of the box. That’s for tomorrow. I want to sew some pillow cases for the husband as well as some co-workers. Hopefully, a early start on holiday gifts!

The prospect of more rain was not as reliable as hoped but next week we may see some more. Finger’s crossed.

Fall comes early
September 18, 2011, Sunday,12:42 pm
Filed under: Misc. | Tags:

The local weather has been sadly cool for most of the summer. Not a complaint, just observation. Now, a few days before Fall begins on the 23rd, the weather is cool in the morning and evening, even if there is a good warmth during the day. My favorite time of the year. September is my birthday month, so I celebrate the life I am still able to enjoy despite cancer. Each day is a gift.

glacierThe family went on a cruise this past summer. A new experience that I am not likely to repeat. I loved seeing the glaciers in Alaska and visiting cities, but cruising just isn’t my style.

My precious grandson is growing so fast! Already 5 months old.  A true delight.

Waiting yet again for my latest blood work. I don’t get anxious until I have taken the test. I want to know immediately what it says but have to wait 3-4, until the doctor sends an email. Waiting is not easy.

I miss my son who has taken off again to work in Japan. He really likes it there and has picked up quite a bit of language skills which serves him well. Sigh.

In my thoughts – Japan
March 12, 2011, Saturday,8:31 pm
Filed under: Misc. | Tags: , , , ,

Can things get any worse for Japan. Earthquake, tsunami, nuclear threat of meltdown. So sad. Japan has made making their infrastructure as safe as possible as they are sitting on an active quake fault. It is so hard to realize that it could have been so a ghastly scenario for them without what they already had in place.

My son lived 3 years in Japan and went through earthquakes. Even though the quakes were small compared to 8.9, it was still scary for him and for us living so far away. I currently have a niece and her husband and son living in Okinawa. A safe area, at least from this quake.

Living in a major quake zone in California is a reality we live with daily. We know the odds are for a major quake in the next 20-30 years, yet we are not prepared. Our public buildings are so vulnerable. Schools, hospitals, bridges, water lines all on or very near the numerous faults we have in the San Francisco Bay Area. The Loma Prieta quake showed us just how much damage can happen in a few seconds.

We have quake kits in the house and cars but it is a drop in the bucket it what we would need if a 8.9 hit us here. I wonder sometimes if the threat of blizzards and floods are worse than earthquakes. You can be sure that floods and snow will happen fairly often and generally in specific times of the year. Quakes, on the other hand, can happen anytime.

My thoughts go out to everyone impacted by this tragedy.

Good Test
October 6, 2010, Wednesday,5:43 pm
Filed under: Misc., ovarian cancer, weather

For those who care, my tests were good! I was a wreck just before and then again while waiting for the results. I’m still very low even though the number went up by one. Big sigh of relieve.

We had a short, fairly intense burst of rain this afternoon. Nice. I dropped my lunch (chickenwith rice) all over the floor as I was putting in the microwave. Big mess to clean up. I was hungry too.

I was trainer for a new employee today. It was great to have new, young employee that I don’t have to explain what a blog or Twitter or Facebook is. Yeah! I worked with a lot of older people who can’t or are unwilling to learn anything new, particularly with regard to technology. Sigh.

Time to have dinner and then rest.

October 3, 2010, Sunday,5:31 pm
Filed under: Misc., ovarian cancer, weather | Tags:

It is definitely Fall, which is to say some of the warmest weather of the summer. The warmer weather comes too late for my tomatoes. I really only got the cherry volunteers and one or two from the medium-sized group. What the weather didn’t finish off, the underground rodent did.

I’m anxious right now as I have another test to take to determine if tumors have returned. There also be a CT scan as well. It took me a while to figure out why I couldn’t settle on my projects. This is how I was feeling three months a ago just prior to my last tests.

Wish me luck. I need to get going on my fall garden.

Shopping Quest
December 5, 2009, Saturday,8:00 am
Filed under: Family, Misc. | Tags: , ,

I started the gift shopping early this year and have really been on a roll. I have the staff finished unlike the family. My better half is very very very difficult to gift. Why you ask? Because he buys everything you could possibly imagination as soon as he sees it. So, a favorite author–he has bought it. DVD–same. Clothes–not allowed to buy for him. Electronics–you have got to be kidding. So, what I end up doing is finding quirky, dust-catchers with no useful purpose. Think Wonder Woman bookmarks or Hear-See-Speak no Evils. The other possibilities–calendar, journals, unusual CD, etc., you know, the safe but rather boring gifts.

Of course, as with most things this year, I am not really and truly complaining since I am here (meaning alive) so not finding the “perfect” gift can be put in to perspective, eh? Only this weekend and next to finish. Oh and remember to buy an anniversary gift would be good.

Happy Thanksgiving
November 25, 2009, Wednesday,3:34 pm
Filed under: Misc. | Tags: ,

I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving! I have many thanks to give this year. I am thankful for:

  • Life, sweet life
  • Family
  • Friends & CoWorkers
  • My oncologist
  • Chemo Nurses
  • Phlebotomists
  • Letter carrier
  • Books
  • a new year is coming

There are so many reasons to be thankful this year. My list is just a beginning. Have a safe Thanksgiving and beyond.

Monday I will learn the results of my latest CA-125. Wish me luck.

Gophers, etc.
October 25, 2009, Sunday,8:19 am
Filed under: Misc.

My swiss chard has been eaten by a gopher or groundhog. The lawn is torn up in a huge area also. What can be done to get rid of it (them?) I will have to spend a considerable amount of time and energy digging out my raised beds and placing a screen shield, then replacing the soil and plants. Ugh.

Well it is not happening this weekend as I am off to a work function for several days.

There is a huge, front page article in todays, NYTimes on the Block Cancer Center. I just happened to be reading Dr. Block’s book. I have been thinking a lot about quality versus quantity of life lately. I am not yet dying but I am thinking about what I want to get done before I do die. This has been more pressing since my diagnosis. Well. For now, I am focusing on my work and learning new skills. In a few weeks I will learn about my retirement options and see what is possible.

Not one, two
May 14, 2009, Thursday,3:58 pm
Filed under: health, Misc. | Tags: , ,

Having seen the doctor yesterday and discussed pathology reports, I can say I have a two cancers of completely different types. No literature on treatment so the chemo cocktail is the doctor’s best guess on how to start. After a few rounds, we can re-evaluate.

I haven’t finished processing the news. Chemo starts next week. Tomorrow a CT and chemo class with others new cancer patients.

Nothing feels real. Is that denial?

May 12, 2009, Tuesday,7:09 am
Filed under: Misc. | Tags: ,

Tomorrow is the day I find out what kind of chemotherapy I will have. I want to get going but am scared silly as well. There is a chance that I won’t be sick with the chemo and my not lose my hair. I don’t really care about the hair. If I can work and not be sick I will consider myself lucky. If I don’t need more surgery as well.

I am building up my exercise time, walking the neighborhood with either my husband or son. Being a fast walker, it has been hard to slow down to a pace that allows for length of time rather than speed.

The mental effort to stay positive is never-ending. I can do it when around others, it when everyone leaves that it is difficult. I read this and feel quite pathetic and whiney.

The roses are amazing at the moment and the bouquets they make are lovely. The donut peach has tiny little peaches and the apple trees are leafing out. Oh, and the weeds are going like…well you know.